


Breaking Through

by Dzuljeta



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Chance Meetings, Confusion, Dreams, F/M, French Kissing, Kissing, No Smut, Realisation, Reunions, Romance, Sexual Content, Telepathy, Time Travel, other planets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-06 22:27:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6772756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dzuljeta/pseuds/Dzuljeta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose has been chased by a painful dream about the one seemingly lost to her forever for far too long. The Doctor is back to wake her up and make everything all right, but even with Donna and Jack accompanying the reunited couple nothing's quite what it seems, as reality is not always kind... And dreams are not always pleasant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Victim of the Mind

**Breaking Through**

**Chapter One**

**Victim of the Mind**

Donna should have known something was out of order the moment the Doctor has suddenly stopped acknowledging her idle chatter, turning eerily quiet. Or should she have got concerned earlier in the day, when he was suddenly fulfilling her every wish without question, even bringing her to this particular dancing club earlier? The alien's eyes were fixed on a human – or at least she looked like one. For God's sake, was he even breathing? Since when was the Time Lord into-

She followed his gaze. "She shouldn't even be here," he muttered to himself, tense. If anything, this was simply inconceivable. "Wrong time. Wrong place. Wrong universe..."

The companion's eyes widened in understanding. "Don't even start, Spaceman. She's someone special, isn't she?"

"Well…"

"She _is_."

"Yep," the Doctor saw no reason to negate it. Disagreeing with Donna further might cause trouble, and that was exactly what he was trying to avoid. The alien stiffened, not ready for answering any questions.

"Then why won't you go to her?"

"With some of the things I'd done… I don't deserve her, yeah?"

"Does she think so, too?"

He shrugged. "I don't know."

"Go and ask, then."

"I can't."

"That's new!" Donna eyed him with playful disbelief in her eyes.

"Get out of my sight," he growled. "You're not helping."

The ginger rolled her eyes at him, knowing full well he did not mean what he said. Not with the longing look in his eyes. "Was she a companion of yours?"

He nodded, visibly unwilling to talk about it. However, Donna was not going to stop, choosing the question that was undoubtedly going to get some reaction - or information - out of him.

"The last question. What about Rose? Was this youngster before or after her?"

The Doctor's eyes were burning. For a second it seemed he was going to slap her. "Companion or not... it's none of your business," he hissed. "My life… _Rose_ is none of your business. Is that clear?"

"Yes."

"Fine," he snarled.

Donna was shocked at the way his hands were trembling. Was that stress, fatigue, or anger, she couldn't say. But the way his eyes kept following the blonde spoke tomes to her. There was no way he was going to escape facing the mysterious girl, not while she was with him. And she was _not_ giving him an alternative this time. "Would you want me to accompany you, just for until she notices you?"

The Gallifreyan looked at her uncomprehendingly for a moment – it seemed he had forgotten Donna was there. "Yeah, sure."

"Yes. Let's go to her, then."

* * *

_None of this is real. None of this is real_ , Rose kept repeating in her mind, refusing to acknowledge the very real, very wet, and very salty tears now flowing down her face. It was one of _those_ dreams. She was feeling strangely cold. Must have been the effect of the ice-cream she was talked into having earlier today… or was it yesterday? Although it could not be. Maybe it was the wind. Mum must have left the window ajar. A small part of her mind reminded Rose she was not living with Mum anymore.

"Just a dream," she kept whispering to herself. "None of-" she sobbed, assured this was but one of the very frequent and extremely detailed dreams that was soon, as was the rule with her dreams, going to become a nightmare.

"None of this is real!" she cried. "It cannot be. Cannot," she whimpered, allowing the dream to take its usual course. As always, the Doctor was coming towards her… Just a second, and he will approach, showing her his true face. _Its_ true face. Sometimes, if she was being unusually lucky, the face would not transform, and he would lean it to kiss her… But this never happened. Instead, she would find herself separated from him. Again.

Rose was unpleasantly surprised, clearly feeling someone watching her. But, as dreams went… This had to be her mind toying with her. Nothing else. The worst thing that could happen was her waking up screaming.

"I'm sorry," Donna wasn't wasting time. "This guy right here wants to talk to you." She seemed to have missed the fact Rose's face was red from tears. But this could have been the effect of the lightning.

"If it's about dancing, I won't- I don't-" the blonde was not surprised about someone not daring to ask her openly – this world – every world - was full of men or boys too shy to ask a girl for a dance.

She was startled by a very familiar voice the following moment. "Really, though? You were all for dancing the last time I saw you…"

Rose had to find something to hold on to. Donna was the closest. "I never thought he'd have this kind of effect on anyone," the redhead smirked.

There. There he was. Rose's Doctor, watching her incredulously, his eyes wide and shining with wonder that looked so much like _love_.

The blonde backed away. "You are but an illusion. A creation of my mind…" _None of this is real_ , the phrase was running through her mind like a broken record.

"Sorry," the Tyler girl muttered, her eyes tearing up once again almost immediately, as soon as she faced the Time Lord – or as much of the Doctor as dreams could give her. "Why can't these dreams last? You will be gone, just like the last time, and the time before, and-" she bit her lip fiercely, unpleasantly surprised about the amount of pain this has caused her.

Donna Noble said nothing, holding the girl's hand assuringly. The Doctor and the blonde must have been very good friends once, judging from their faces. Shock on his, sorrow on hers.

"This is not a dream, Rose."

 _Ah._ _Oh, my God._ How could she have been so stupid? The ginger woman was grateful she did not give in to the first reflex to let go.

"Isn't it?" It was obvious she did not trust him.

"Nope. Not a dream," the Doctor assured her, touching her arm softly. The cool sensation was not enough to convince her.

"I don't believe you."

"Believe _me_ , then," Donna winked at her. "The Doctor asked of me to accompany him up until you see him… but in no way am I leaving now I see you still think it's not real. I know just the thing." Poor girl seemed overtaken by some strange idea that she was dreaming. The ginger companion was ready to let go of the blonde's hand and slap some sense into her. Always worked…

Then, she realised. There was always a less drastic way to arrange it… Particularly now that they were so close to each other. Or was he just as dazed as the young woman seemed to be? Were they in need of an encouragement?

"Stupid alien. _Kiss_ her," Donna hissed into his ear, never letting go of Rose's hand.

"Er… Donna… I doubt a kiss would convince her." Of course it wouldn't, their only proper kiss being-

However, before he as much as thought of it, Rose broke away and started to run. Away from the illusion. She was a reasonable person. She could distinguish an illusion or a dream from reality! This was not, could not be-

"Are they causing you trouble, Miss?" She was stopped in the middle of the hall by a concerned middle-aged man.

Rose froze. "I don't- don't think so. It's just-"

"Do you know them? I could always call security! A guard standing by the door was prepared to help this young woman, _possibly under the influence, poor thing_.

The blonde shook her head. "No need, thank you. I'm leaving," she spoke firmly, believing the illusion would evaporate the moment she found herself out of the somewhat stuffy room, possibly in a completely different place.

"Are you sure you need no help, Miss?"

"No, thanks. I will find my way out."

She could not help a glance back, pale as a sheet of paper, barely able to keep her balance. "Are you all right, Miss? Is there a person we could call to bring you home?"

"She's with us," Donna came towards her, the Doctor following the ginger companion close, too stunned to word his thoughts clearly.


	2. The Journey

**Previously...**

She could not help a glance back, pale as a sheet of paper, barely able to keep her balance. "Are you all right, Miss? Is there a person we could call to bring you home?"

"She's with us," Donna came towards her, the Doctor following the ginger companion close, too stunned to word his thoughts clearly.

* * *

**Chapter Two:** **The Journey**

The man looked over Donna and the Doctor incredulously, addressing Rose. "Do you know them?"

She but glanced at the two in question. "Of course… of course I do," she plastered a smile on her face, hoping the dim light was sufficient to mask her real emotions. "You don't need to worry, sir," Rose hurried to assure the man.

"Come, Doctor… Rose," the ginger companion was sure to hold the blonde firmly enough not to allow her to run away this time. She was almost determined to grab the Doctor by the hand as well, if necessary… It seemed she was the only reasonable one left. For how long? Donna grimaced inwardly.

"Where have you parked the TARDIS?" This has very likely been one of the darkest – literally – nights in Donna Noble's entire life, and she was beginning to feel fearful. Her two companions were a still unnaturally quiet Time Lord and a _very_ perturbed human girl, who might possibly still be thinking she was only dreaming… This did nothing to take the unwelcome unease away.

" _I_ can lead you to her," Rose said, breaking the silence. Her assurance surprised Donna greatly, but the very fact she has spoken has made the ginger sigh in relief.

"You can see in the dark better than most of us, then," the ginger spoke with a smile.

"I can _hear_ her," Rose clarified. And see much better than an ordinary human. Just like a _wolf_ , some part of her mind suggested. But this was understandable, it being her dream!

The more recent companion could barely see in this dark, which should at least have improved her hearing somewhat – but no. Not a sound. _Oh, well._ Maybe Rose _was_ special.

The first thing to do now was to somehow snap the blonde out of the illusion…

"Would you please do me and yourself a favour, Doctor?" She hissed.

"And what kind of favour may that be?" The Time Lord asked her carefully, his eyes always fixed on Rose.

"What do you think, Spaceman?"

"Who do you take me for? A psychic?"

The blonde breathed out with a smirk. "This is not that far from the truth, I think. Doctor."

Donna shook her head incredulously. "What about you two just kiss and make everything clear again? Would it be enough to make you understand this is not a dream, Rose?"

"I don't think I could do any of this to you," the Doctor muttered. He was afraid his fair-haired companion would not approve of it… Kissing her seemed like a very unlikely decision to make. What _he_ wanted did not matter, if it meant Rose was going to be upset with him.

Rose did not dare to reply to the woman's question. This dream had taken some unexpected turns already, but this last line sounded painfully familiar. He couldn't- why exactly? What exactly?

"Rose..." the Doctor's soft voice startled her, and she stopped abruptly, forcing Donna to come to a halt as well. "Your lip is still bleeding," he noted, a worried expression on his face. The girl run her tongue over her lips without thinking, not surprised she could indeed feel the taste of iron on her cracked lips. But nothing could be more important than the concerned face in front of her… The Doctor was _staring_ at her, which the blonde could feel rather than see, her eyes looking anywhere but at him.

The girl was suddenly thankful for the darkness surrounding them.

"Rose," the Time Lord repeated, his voice just as soft, but barely audible this time. "Allow me to fix this," 'he leaned in... but _not_ to kiss her, taking his sonic screwdriver out of his almost-bottomless jacket pocket instead. "Don't move, Rose."

It was done in seconds, and the Doctor smiled at the blonde encouragingly. "There we are."

"Is this _all_?" Donna glared at the Time Lord, once again resuming their journey towards the Doctor's ship, her hand holding Rose's firmly, just in case she would try running away again.

"My lip's healed, if this is what worries you-" Rose remembered she did not even know the other woman's name.

"Donna's the name. Donna Noble," The woman smiled, glad the blonde did not give her any questions. "Now that we _know_ each other," Donna winked at her, "there is only one little thing left to deal with. This Time Lord of yours has to-"

"The magic of a kiss? How very _Disney_ ," Rose rolled her eyes, directing her attention towards the Doctor. "Even if it worked, you _wouldn't_ do it, not to _me_ , not even in a dream?" The red-haired companion could swear she heard bitterness in the girl's voice.

The alien bit his tongue, saying nothing, yet never taking his eyes off her. If this _had_ to be done, _fine_. He was not fooling himself. Kissing her, finally, properly, had been a frequent part of his dreams almost whenever he actually allowed himself to sleep. In fact, he was _hoping_ for this outcome.

Donna was getting windy already. "Rose, what is it that would make you believe this is all completely real?" Or would she have to slap her, after all?

Rose shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Oh. I know! I know! The TARDIS!" Donna grinned at them excitedly.

"Er. Yes. But we need to reach it first," the Doctor muttered something in Gallifreyan.

Rose burst out laughing. "You _never_ say this, unless- unless-" _Unless the TARDIS is near, yet not close enough to hear you to use such_ expressions _._

That was when the much-missed ship's singing reached her mind. Reached _her_. Rose's face lost all colour, as the TARDIS was now visible in the distance. She stopped abruptly. No dream of hers was _ever_ so detailed. So realistic. The feeling, the warmth, the welcoming sensation… She blinked, feeling tears welling up in her eyes once again.

"There, Rose. The Doctor and me, we'll lead you to the ship," Donna assured the girl, starting to take slow steps towards it. Rose did not object, fixing her attention on breathing steadily instead.

The Time Lord stopped them. "You still don't understand, Donna," he freed Rose's hand from the other companion's grasp, taking it in his instead.

"Do you still think this is but a dream, Rose?" the Doctor worded the question carefully, even though he knew the unpleasant answer already.

"Yes. This has to be." _Nothing but a very realistic-_

"Forgive me for this, then, Rose," he glued his eyes to hers, expecting for her to struggle and try to run away, but she did none of that, rather interested where this unexpected… incredible experience was going to lead her.

"This isn't fair," the Doctor began kissing the fair-haired companion's neck slowly. "When we finally see each other again... you, Rose Tyler, manage to _hurt_ yourself. This is very, _very_ unfair." He was holding her firmly in his arms.

"Shouldn't the kiss be, you know – on the lips?" Donna inquired.

"Too _Disney_ ," he breathed into the girl's neck.

"But isn't this how it's supposed to work? Besides, you _have_ healed her, yes?"

The Doctor moved away slightly. "Yes, but-"

"You either don't want to do it or are waiting for my explicit permission," Rose whispered.

"Would you grant it?" Donna was watching the scene with interest.

"Yes," she breathed out. "After all, a dream is-"

"You have no idea what you're talking about, my Rose," the Time Lord touched her lower lip softly and smiled. _Snogging_ a vision out of the woman of your dreams was by far _not_ the worst-case scenario...


	3. Joys

**Previously…**

_"You have no idea what you're talking about, my Rose," the Time Lord touched her lower lip softly and smiled._ Snogging _a vision out of the woman of your dreams was by far_ _not_ _the worst-case scenario..._

* * *

**Chapter Three: Joys**

Donna turned her eyes upwards. "I guess I'm returning to the ship. Take all the time you need," she smirked at the Doctor. Her primary wish was to stay with them and see the girl come to her senses – yet it was clear the alien did not like the idea.

The Doctor glared at Donna, grimacing at the way she said those words, but said nothing.

His attention was fully on Rose the next moment. Rose did not move away from him, speaking instead, her voice barely above a whisper. He could swear she was trembling slightly. The Doctor did not attempt to guess the reason of this, but only held her tight.

"Stop it. The Doctor- _my_ Doctor, he would _never_ do it," she muttered, her eyes full of unshed tears. _Would not try to fool me into an illusion._

The Time Lord was watching her intently, a small – if a bit tense - smile on his face. " _Never_ is a word we both should avoid, Rose," his soft voice sent shivers down her spine.

Without a word, he began kissing her. Slowly, tentatively, as if he weren't brave enough. Rose pulled him close, still half-dreaming, allowing the Doctor in without any objection left, the unfamiliar feeling of his tongue in her mouth but making her eyes water with realisation of the barely possible.

It was a matter of seconds until she _knew_. The look in his eyes, the smell, the touch…

This did not mean she was going to make it easy for anyone.

She smiled at him wryly. "You can't have thought a kiss would be enough to convince me."

He looked at her with dread. "Did not work, then?"

Rose peered at him, seeing puzzlement on his face, but did not respond, sighing instead. The Doctor shrugged at her. It was just like them once – allowing the other to make guesses...

Donna Noble was not someone to waste time, though. "Would a slap work?"

The Time Lord shook his head at his current companion.

"The Doctor, of all people, should know it's a bad idea," Rose eyed the Doctor warily, amused.

He could not back away a smirk. "Rose is right, Donna. You wouldn't want to suffer the consequence of having slapped a Tyler," he seemed to have caught up with the blonde fairly quickly – almost as if they were travelling together again - yet was feeling left out, as the girl seemed to block him away still, as if still in doubt.

"Thank you, Doctor," the fair-haired companion smiled. He panicked, certain of nothing now, but smiled back.

Her following words have but bewildered him further. "Shall we race to the TARDIS?" Rose was not waiting for a confirmation and took off, rightly expecting of him to follow.

One look in his eyes has answered Donna all the questions she might have had up to that point about their curious relationship. "Sorry! Must rush, understand… You should be able to see the TARDIS by now. Five steps to the left, then fifty-seven straight ahead," he murmured the directions – heard very clearly because of the pitch darkness - to the mistrusting ginger woman and hurried after Rose, meeting her in front of the ship, his eyes questioning.

The blonde grinned at him, her eyes wide with excitement.

"I _knew_ this was going to work!"

The Doctor grabbed her hands. He needed to know. "Do you believe it's really me, Rose?"

She breathed out. "Well- considering you don't behave like-"

"Not like I used to? What would you like me to do to prove to you-"

Rose shook her head at him. "It's not about you proving something to me, Doctor."

He was overtaken with the feeling she was but teasing him. But this was not something she wouldn't have done… "What, then?"

"Just to prove your point, Doctor. Kiss me again?" Rose knew she was breaking every unspoken rule of their relationship with this request, but knew she had nothing to lose.

His eyes sparkled. "Inside the TARDIS?"

"Okay!"

He was half-expecting for the door to open, but did not say anything against Rose unlocking the door... With her key, one the girl has always kept close, no matter the situation. The moment they were inside, he pulled her into an embrace. "Just as it used to be, yes?"

"Just as _we_ used to be? Nope. We don't-" Rose was not surprised to feel his cool lips on hers again.

Tears started falling then. Tears she did not realise were falling down her face. Tears of joy. Of relief.

The Doctor saw everything, but did not want-did not dare to move away, instead putting all of his love in that one passionate kiss. Rose welcomed him deepening it, sighing into his mouth, never forgetting to keep returning the passionate kiss to him with equal passion. This was beautiful. Adorable. Incomparable. _Incredible._

The Doctor realised it was long past the limits of his respiratory bypass... Nevertheless, against all odds, they were still snogging ardently after what felt like years or maybe like a moment, one too short to break the kiss so soon, too soon.

It was as if it were but a pleasant illusion... But it wasn't. A dream… But it wasn't.

They heard someone – Donna – clear her throat uncomfortably.

"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but do you realise it's been _hours_ after you left? Hours since I'm here? I know, because I happen to have a watch. You two must be insanely in love, or simply mad." Donna's voice, both amused and worried, has finally broke them apart. She must have eventually found her way to the ship.

"How are you, Rose?" She asked her kindly, paying no attention to the Time Lord.

"I..." She could not think of anything to say.

"Are you two _always_ like this?"

Rose glanced at the Doctor, who smirked at Donna. "I'm trying to be," he said sincerely.

Rose eyed him amusedly, throwing an apologetic glance at the redhead.

"It really _is_ you," Rose breathed at the Doctor, her eyes shining.

"Yep," he grinned. "Good ol' me! Shall we join Donna for a nice reunion cuppa?"

The girl stared at him, her mouth agape. "Seriously?"

He stared back at her, not understanding. "A reunion hug, that's what we need, Rose!"

Rose bit her lip nervously. "Is this it?"

"Why, isn't this what we usually do?"

She chuckled mirthlessly. "Yes, but you are not my usual Doctor any more."

_What?_

The ginger was suddenly no longer happy about having stayed with them. "I'm going to bed. I'd rather you two had another nine hours of snogging. Or whatever. Goodnight."

The Doctor and Rose were left staring at each other, before breaking into laughter. "What did she mean?"

He shrugged. "Her watch must be wrong."

She eyed him searchingly. The Doctor was a Time Lord. Of course he _might_ be worried about such trivialities...

He continued his train of thought out loud without realising it."Of course it is. It's not nine hours of snogging. It was twelve. Well, and three minutes."

The girl gave him a strange look. _I must be dreaming._


	4. Whims and Fancies

**Previously…**

_It's not nine hours of snogging. It was twelve. Well, and three minutes."_

_The girl gave him a strange look._ _I must be dreaming._

* * *

 

**Chapter Four: Whims and Fancies**

Rose kept staring at him, the look frightening the Time Lord more than he would admit. He could have sworn some part of her mind was still refusing to take this for granted.

"Rose!" He embraced her, terrified of the very likely possibility she had not fought her disbelief away entirely. Hours of feeling her welcoming, warm, eager lips on his, her smell intoxicating him beyond measure...What for?

He sighed, taking her hand. "Come," he began leading her to the med bay. It's been years since he was distressed enough to think she needed medical care… And Rose had persistently remained perfectly healthy whenever he had found a reason to run tests on her. He was expecting for it to be the same this time.

Rose was savouring the Doctor's enticing presence, recalling some of the things he could do with his mouth. Her lips must have been bruised, she realised. The still present slightly irritating tingle on her lips did not overshadow the pleasant feeling his touches had brought her. This had been something she could not have thought possible. Not with the Doctor. Ever. But…The girl giggled at the realisation this was no longer an undeniable fact. They had been working on making it untrue for a considerable amount of time, too! Rose smirked.

"For a dream, the snog was pleasantly realistic. _Unrealistically pleasant_. And long, for that matter," Rose's voice bore no signs of emotions, perhaps on intention.

The Doctor was watching her, startled and unable to make anything sensible leave his lips. Taking Rose to the med bay was suddenly out of his mind. She was simply being reasonable.

No. This absolutely could _not_ be a dream, Rose understood. Not with her lips still tingling painfully from the- the- _Oh, my God._ The almost blissful realisation hit her once again. "Is snogging for _twelve_ hours straight even humanly possible?" The blonde chortled with disbelief, her voice unnaturally low.

"It is. Kissing is very important. It saves lives. Brings lives. There is a planet, one widely known across the galaxy for space travellers, where this simple act of showing affection is more important than food or drink! Some species can survive without nourishment for years! Not without kissing, though."

"Do their kisses have to be like what we have been doing? So _intense_? Or a peck is enough for them?"

Truthfully, Rose Tyler did not care about his answer, not with his deep hazel eyes locked with hers.

"No. Constant snogging sounds is what is heard constantly on that particular planet. In fact, you are likely to be put into jail, if you don't have a partner! Er… A kissing-partner…"

Rose's eyes widened mockingly. "And you were obviously the one without having someone to kiss? Poor Doctor."

"Rose Tyler! I am fairly good when it comes to seducing women- er- females… You get the idea."

 _You surely are._ The pink and yellow companion shrugged. "It depends. So… How many women have you _seduced_ while being there?"

Fine, this was the very last thing she actually wanted to know.

"Do you want to know the exact number?" The alien was not expecting this from Rose – she was supposed to still _love_ him, him and only him… Nevertheless, he kept the well-practiced mixture of teasing and disbelief on his face.

"Not really, no," Rose hurried to assure him _. Please. No._

Apparently, he was too far gone with his pleasant memories. The blonde closed her eyes, ready for anything. "Oh, I would not have forgotten one of them. Too bad I never got the chance. Escaping imprisonment was more important than snogging someone I see for the first time in my life."

Rose breathed out. "So you never-"

"Nope. My talent when convincing people of something is not limited to seduction, thank you very much!"

"That's… Good," Rose muttered, averting her eyes.

"It is," he agreed with a smirk. "It's not exactly pleasant watching others snog when you- er… Cannot."

The human gave him an incredulous look.

"I mean, when- When you don't-"

"Don't have whom to kiss?"

"Yep," he breathed out. He shouldn't have begun talking of these things, in the first place. But it seemed fitting… "I know there are humans capable of snogging for a long time. Sometimes for a longer time than we… er… Have been," the Doctor shrugged uncomfortably. The fact the distance between them was not big enough for them not to feel the other's breath brushing their skin occasionally was not helping. Still, the long years of not crossing the invisible border between them were keeping them from simply allowing themselves to let go.

"Yeah?" The blonde breathed, not wanting to break off the conversation completely and fall into the heavy silence between them she did not wish to experience again. "That must not be a common thing, or I'd have heard of it," Rose gave him a tiny smile.

"It sure _is_ ," he assured. "What – haven't you been watching some of these contests on the telly?"

"Have _you_?" Rose giggled, trying to imagine it, more than willing to resume the life once brutally taken away from them. Some things _could_ change, of course…

"Pfft. Obviously not. I simply happen to know they…Tthese contests - exist."

"You seemed fairly confident about it," the girl noted playfully. It felt so good to be together with the Doctor again. To simply _be_ with him. Watch him. Hear him. Admire him. Love him. Well… to have her feelings returned was too much to ask, clearly. Rose was determined not to. But what was going to happen now? With his ginger companion convinced they were- well. Together?

He saw the silent question burning in her eyes. " _You_ are the one to decide if you want to return to the life we used to have."

Rose averted her eyes. "I don't exactly have a place to return to in that other life of mine, yeah?" The hostel she was staying at temporarily was not a place she wished to return to. _This_ was where she wanted to be. Not at the place where she would need to face Mum or Pete and their worried faces every day. No matter she had a place at Torchwood guaranteed for her and could have got hold of – legally - more money she'd ever seen in her plain Powel Estate life before.

"Do I want to know the details?" He asked her with care, not wishing to touch upon any painful topics. No matter the amount of time the Doctor had to convince her – in a more than pleasant way, for that matter – he was still having doubts.

"I was going to try and live my ordinary old life… As always," Rose shrugged, uncertainty in her eyes as she unwillingly backed away from him.

The Doctor was on alert at once. "Rose? Is everything all right?"

She shrugged again.

He blinked, suppressing a sigh. "Come with me, Rose. Trust me. Please."

Rose bit her lip. "Do you _still_ think I doubt you, Doctor? Were those twelve hours of us kissing not enough to show you just how much I am – always have been - ready to give you? I don't think so."

The Doctor gave her an uncomfortable smile. "Er… Should we go look for Donna? She must think-"

"She must think we are doing… _Things_. Your friend would be here with us otherwise," Rose sent him a good-natured smile.

"Things?" The Time Lord chortled, his cheeks reddening the next instant. "Ah. You mean _things_."

Rose did not look at him.

"It's a good thing we don't… er… Do things!" He grimaced at his own unsuccessful pun. "I mean…" He ran his hand through his hair uncomfortably.

It was Rose's turn to laugh, but she only rolled her eyes at him, suddenly getting an _amazing_ idea.

"How is that planet called, again?"

"Amaritia, why?"

His eyes widened at the cheeky smirk on her face. "No. You can't mean that. It's impossible for us to go there!"

"Am I not good enough to be your snogging-partner?" Rose looked at him searchingly.

"Er… You are absolutely amazing, that's true, but-"

"But?"

"You can't just kiss _anyone_ on Amaritia."

Rose rolled her eyes at him. "Is this what I am for you?"

"No. No. No! This isn't- We need to-" He breathed the words into her ear, watching Rose's face change colour. The next thing he knew was Rose's warm breath touch his ear with an answer.

"I'm sure this can be fixed, yes?"

The Time Lord paled, managing a firm smile. It _could_ be fixed. _Had_ to. He had just got Rose back and was not going to deny her _anything_. If only she were not so jeopardy-friendly…

"I'll just tell Donna we're leaving."


	5. Wherever This Adventure Leads Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! By saying I won't be back until the 24th, I meant my usual, comfortable writing place. HOME. Given the chance to spend some time on my own, I just might spend my evenings on doing whatever I please, right? :)

**Previously…**

_The Time Lord paled, managing a firm smile. He had just got Rose back and was not going to deny her_ anything _. If only she were not so jeopardy-friendly…_

" _Tell Donna we're leaving."_

* * *

**Chapter Five**

**Wherever this Adventure Leads Us**

"Now. You want to leave _now_. " Donna Noble looked at him with disbelief. "Is the world in danger _again_?"

The Doctor shook his head.

"Is _Rose_ in danger, then?"

"No. But you might want to remain on board. I'm sure the old girl could find you some things to do."

Donna stared at him, wounded. "And what makes you think I would agree to that, Spaceman? Locked up in a space ship while the two of you are having unearthly amounts of fun?"

"I'm sorry! You don't have what it takes to-"

The ginger slapped him, allowing her true nature overtake her. Even if this alien could be an admirable – even adorable, when it came to talking to or just _about_ Rose – he has said things he shouldn't have. Rude, that one. Just as he kept reminding her. The Doctor was too shocked to even respond.

Donna exhaled. "Yeah? Why doesn't it convince me, Spaceman?"

He spoke, massaging his cheek. "In order to survive on that planet, you need to have someone to kiss and keep doing that constantly."

"Am I _that_ ugly? Do you really think I couldn't find some poor lad to do that with me?"

"It needs to be the same one all along. Or you have someone?"

"No," she admitted sadly. "But I am determined to travel with you anyway!"

"Call Jack," Rose chirped in, appearing among them seemingly out of nowhere.

"Jack who?"

The Doctor grinned at Rose. "He would happily assist with this, yes. But would he be ready to feign marriage?"

Donna was watching them with dread. "Marriage?" Her experience in almost getting to it hasn't exactly been pleasant. "What, do you mean the real thing?" She couldn't believe it, and was right not to.

"As real as a feigned marriage could be," he shrugged. "Something like our exchange of rings has been."

Rose's eyes widened, but one assuring look from the Doctor was enough to calm her down.

"Don't think the planet's guards have somewhat become more perceptive than they'd been the last time."

Donna gaped, incredulous. "A planet has guards? A _planet_?"

Rose giggled. "Still haven't seen much, have you? Many planets have their own rules towards visitors," she clarified. "Apparently, this one requires the visitors to be married."

"Call him," Rose insisted. "We know he would do anything to-" she cleared her throat – addanewconquesttohiscollection."

"What?"

"Do you want to join us or not?"

"Sure, but-"

"You'll _love_ him!" Rose grinned excitedly.

The Time Lord did not like this one bit. "Wait a moment. What has brought this up? Jack Harkness might not even be in the mood to see us!"

"He is always in the mood to see _me_ ," Rose rolled her eyes, dialling the complicated number without thinking twice.

"How do you know it, in the first place?"

"Girl's secret," she teased.

Donna giggled. Jealous Doctor was still new for her. "Does this happen often?" the ginger poked Rose's shoulder while she was patiently waiting for the tricky phone connection to be established.

"Used to, yeah. But he wouldn't admit it," the girl giggled, still waiting.

The Doctor spoke, relieved. "Jack might be out of this universe. You don't have to keep waiting."

Rose shook her head, persistent. "The signal's poor, but it's there! Just you wait, Doctor."

The Time Lord looked for help at Donna, but she simply laughed. "Poor Doctor. Calm down. She's only trying to help!"

The moment Jack answered, it was clear he was having a bad day. "Whatever you want, whoever you are – get lost!"

"It's Rose-"

The Captain's tone changed immediately. "Rosie! My darling! Where are you? Thought you were gone!"

"Not any more," the girl smiled, her hazel eyes widening at the grimace on the Doctor's face. "Yes, he knows. Yes, we did. No, we- Could I ask you a favour? Someone needs a husband for a day."

"Oooh! This promises to be something interesting! Give me the coordinates, Rosie. My good ol' vortex manipulator is as good as ever! Can overcome every obstacle there is."

"Doesn't he need to know my name, at least?" Donna wondered, amused.

There was no time to wonder any more, as Jack's trusted vortex manipulator has indeed worked flawlessly… almost, as it could not have protected him from materialising uncomfortably close to the ship's outer wall and hitting it with as loud a sound as a head hitting a wall could make.

* * *

"Damn it!" he swore, but his pain was forgotten the moment he saw Rose and the Doctor.

"Sweet," he smiled at the two happily, having decided not to add a comment about the way they looked as if they'd been snogging for hours. _Some_ good news, at least.

Donna has been unusually quiet, surprised the man has not addressed her up to that point. Hasn't noticed her, very likely.

"Hello! Are you the one in need of a spouse, dear? What is your name?"

"I am not your _dear_ , sweetheart," Donna rolled her eyes at the unbelievably handsome human.

"Cheeky," he noted with a smirk. He was going to love spending time with her, that much seemed certain. "My fiery little bride!"

Donna Noble glared at him. "Little? Seriously?"

Rose grinned at the Doctor, who smirked back. However brief the visit, it's was going to be fun simply to watch them.

The Time Lord shrugged at them, amusement on his face. "The moment you begin with the kissing – when were on Amaritia, that is- try not to pour any venom at each other. Deal?"

Jack burst out laughing. "Amaritia. I know that place. Prepare to be snogged breathless, _wifey_! What's your name, by the way?"

Donna shook her head.

"Will _Angry Redhead_ do, hmm?"

Rose muttered something to Jack, who has had the decency to look ashamed. "Oh. Sure. Captain Jack Harkness, nice to meet you…"

"Donna. Donna Noble," she grunted. "Best temp there is."

The calls were made, the needed details given... In what appeared to be no time at all.

"They are expecting us," the Doctor smirked at everyone excitedly. The marriage certificates and all other needed documents were ready in no time, thanks to the very supportive TARDIS. The old girl has even been kind enough to land them at the exact place this time.

* * *

Jack and Donna were allowed through the entrance gates almost at once, the Captain hurrying to show her – and everyone who was watching – just what it meant to spend some quality time with the legendary Jack Harkness. Donna gave in to him willingly, her mind never ceasing to work on ways to tease him about this. _Later._

Rose and the Doctor were stopped by a worried guard. Usually, humans did not give away this kind of a misty impression. _Nobody_ did.

"Rose, is it?" the guard's voice lowered as he looked over the documents. "Tell me the truth. Are they keeping you against your will? It seems to me as if you are under some spell. As if you were living through a dream…" The man shook his silly thought away the following moment.

"Don't worry! Newly-weds, like you two, might be experiencing something like this. This is a brilliant place to have chosen for your honey-moon!"

The guard could have sworn he saw two conflicting emotions on their faces. But the visibly newly-hired worker could not tell for sure.

A familiar voice called the guard. "Would you be kind enough to allow the two lovebirds pass already?" _Jack._

"Sure. You'll be given the brochures by the kind woman over here," the guy motioned, allowing them to pass.

"They were nowhere as protective the last time I was there," the Doctor murmured.

"You hadn't brought a pretty young blonde with you the last time," Jack reminded, his assured perfectly-natural-looking smile assuring the young lad this Jack could not be lying to his face... Sadly, he was apparently married to the ginger standing aside. Why wasn't he snogging her senseless yet, anyway?

"Have fun. May your blissful trip be filled with all sorts of satisfaction," he hurried to open the gates fully and turn his eyes away.

 


	6. Amusement(s)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter's original title was different, but not much is changed in it as a whole.

**Previously…**

_"Have fun. May your blissful trip be filled with all sorts of satisfaction," he hurried to open the gates fully and turn his eyes away._

* * *

**Chapter Six**

**Amusement(s)**

Jack eyed everyone smugly. "Did he really say 'all kinds of satisfaction'?

"He did. Aren't we supposed to kiss, and do nothing else, though?" Donna stared at the Doctor, puzzled.

The Doctor cleared his throat. "That's the main point of this place, yes. Of course, you are allowed to-"

"To look for something more to do. We are going to do just that, yes, Donna darling?"

She shrugged, glancing at him. "S'ppose."

"Good! Wait-"

The Doctor shook his head. "I'm sure you two will have unhealthy amounts of fun," he grimaced, grabbing Rose by the hand. "Try and be civil. Rose and I are up for some adventures of our own, right, dear?"

Her eyes sparkled at the word 'adventures' and she grabbed his hand more firmly as they went away without a glance back.

* * *

Donna practically hissed into the Captain's ear the moment the two lovers were out of sight. "Am I the only one thinking something isn't right here?"

"What are you talking about?" Jack awarded the ginger with a deep, thorough snog. "We should get away from _them_ ," he nudged her, giving two unfamiliar shadowy figures - have they been here, all the time? - a side glance.

Donna blinked.

"Trust me." Another kiss. Another fifty metres away from those watching. "They are quickly growing suspicious, I think. Do you know what the Doctor would say?" Another one.

"Run?" She mouthed.

Jack nodded, took Donna's hand and they were soon out of everyone's sight. The fiery human was thankful for that.

"Still happy about this trip?" He grimaced. "Some of my friends won't be happy about this _marriage_ ," the immortal man shrugged at her, hen grinned. "Worth it, though!" Their lips were connected in a kiss again, even though both of them knew this meant nothing.

Jack's voice was barely audible the next instant. "What's up with Rosie?"

"Stuck in a dream. That was how we found her. Still looks like it, m?"

He nodded, worried. "Dreams come and go. There is some other problem buried within, I'm afraid."

"What are you on about, _husband_?" She grimaced, locking her lips to his the moment someone passed them by.

* * *

"Rose. Rose," the Doctor kept repeating her name like a prayer. "If we enter this place, there will be no way back."

She blinked. "What do you mean?"

"We could keep kissing for another twelve hours. Maybe that would be best."

"Where's the fun in that?" Rose's tongue swept through her teeth, making it unbelievably hard for the Doctor to concentrate.

"But this, this is meant for married couples. For lovers, if you like that concept better."

"And we're neither, so?" Her sincere grin took the Doctor's breath away.

"So… I might not be able to control myself further for much longer. And we have just- I couldn't do this to you." _Not_ _until I am sure you're fine, Rose._ "Give it a month, two weeks, a week, at least-"

"Oh." His admission took Rose by surprise, but he wasn't finished.

"With some parts in you still-"

"-still _what_?" Rose stared at him, dreadful possibilities appearing in her mind. She felt her mind was clearer than ever. "Is this the Bad Wolf? I can't exactly _remove_ her-"

The Doctor shuddered. "No, the Wolf within you is a good thing… brilliant, really," he assured her. "Er… She helps you to see better in the dark-"

Rose glared at the Time Lord. "Just _say_ it."

The Doctor exhaled. Where would he start? "Well-"

She could remember his words well. Maybe _he_ didn't. "Some parts of me still-?" The girl urged him.

"You're still not fully yourself," the Gallifreyan blurted.

This has only angered her, and having angry Rose close was never a pleasant thing. "I'm sorry-" He tried to fix the situation… Yet he knew it was of no use.

A shadow of Jackie Tyler could be seen in the look Rose gave him. "Not fully myself? What do you mean by that?"

"Well-" he gulped.

Her voice was suddenly small, but still filled with hurt and disillusion. "We should leave this planet at once, then."

"Why is that?"

"Because you _can't_ keep kissing me, and this not-kissing would only get us imprisoned," she sighed.

This was _new_. After all this time of doing nothing _but_ snogging? It felt like a sharp pang in his hearts. "Why?"

"Because you claim some part of me is still- what? Missing? Changed?"

"You still can't think clearly, Rose. Your dreams, they-"

This has only sparked her irritation. "Am I not allowed to have dreams now?"

"It's not that-"

"Even more of a reason for us not to. Let's go find our friends and leave this planet, yes?" Every single of her body signs suggested she'd have loved to stay in this place at least for a while more…

He stared at Rose, desperate to make her change her mind. He couldn't care less about Amaritia, but this was Rose, the woman he would have kissed for an eternity, if it were possible… And just how big a mistake he's made with that stupid gob of his.

"Now that I think of it, though… We could… could-" He motioned at the building. "We _are_ newly-weds, are we not?" The Doctor eyed her hopefully.

A grin enlightened her features. " _Knew_ it!" Like the Doctor, she did not plan for something more than a healthy dose of making out, but it still was _something_.

"I hope it doesn't frighten you, sweetheart," he smirked.

A sweet female voice interrupted them. "Oh, hello! Are you two up for some quality love-making? I don't see you snogging, and you're right at the entrance to our pleasure palace," she deducted.

Before they could respond in any way, Jack and Donna were there, both sweaty and red from running to them and from _them_. "There you are!"

This can't have promised anything good. The Doctor shooed the suddenly uncomfortable woman away, and Rose took Donna's hand, waiting patiently for her breathing to even.

Well, if the Doctor were being truthful, he was always up for a distraction.

"Trouble?" He sounded almost hopeful.

"We have been looking for the two of you _everywhere_!"

"Oh? I have always thought it was almost impossible to lose your way on such a _distinctive_ planet," the Time Lord shrugged. "Besides, there are a lot of places where you can buy yourself a map of all the attractions worth seeing," he continued.

Donna rolled her eyes at him. "You haven't exactly given us _money_ to get that bloody map for, in the first place!"

Rose sighed in exasperation. "You _have_ found us, after all!"

"Sure we did," Jack smirked. "Some asking around, some seduction attempts…"

"And there you are?" The Doctor shook his head at them. "Straight at the door of this place?"

"Oh, not at all!" The ginger averted her eyes. "His attempts were _too_ successful. Before we knew it, we were being chased for not keeping to our marital vows."

Rose giggled. The Doctor took in a breath. It was _impossible_ something could have been wrong with his pink and yellow human. "How did you find us?"

"Oh, that much was Donna's doing. She has decided upon the right place at once," Jack looked her over smugly. "We all know what comes _afterwards_. Besides, there was no way the Doctor would take you to some other, less exquisite place. Keeping to your wishes, always. Right, Doctor?"

The Doctor's eyes widened, as he grabbed Rose by the hand and whispered something into her ear.

She grinned, the wish to explore the planet of kisses suddenly forgotten. "Up for more running?"


	7. Cure a lonely heart

**Previously…**

_The Doctor's eyes widened, as he grabbed Rose by the hand and whispered something into her ear._

_She grinned, the wish to explore the planet of kisses suddenly forgotten. "Up for more running?"_

* * *

**Breaking Through**

**Chapter Seven**

**Cure a lonely heart  
**

"Always," he said, sounding somehow distracted.

"Do you want to be left alone, or something?" Donna guessed, having noticed the Doctor's unease.

"Alone with Rose, she means. Right?" Jack winked at the ginger woman.

Rose was staring at them. "If we ever choose to do something, you will be the last to know, Jack."

"I'm fairly certain of that," he agreed, careful not to touch upon complicated subjects all of a sudden. "Unless Donna informs me," he added.

"With the amount of time spent in each other's embrace being-" Donna bit softly. Some light teasing could not hurt, especially when it came to the Doctor.

"Shush!" He reacted at once.

"-quite considerable," Donna finished, visibly unwilling to make the Time Lord and his human friend even more uncomfortable… Too bad it didn't work – "it's only a question of time, yeah?"

"We should make a bet, what do you say, _wifey_?" Jack smirked at his not-exactly-wife.

Donna glared at him. "I am so glad we're not actually together, Harkness. One of us would be dead by now."

"You can't imagine how glad _I_ am to not have you two bickering aboard my ship constantly," the Doctor has found his tongue at last.

Rose smacked the Doctor's hand. "You don't mean it," she said, having remembered they were all still out in the open. "We must go. Where have you landed the TARDIS?"

"You really want to leave?" He was incredulous, but his hand found hers all the same – the gesture felt too natural for them to ever question it. "We have only just arrived!"

"Listen to your clever companion," Jack smiled at Rose, finding Donna's hand so as not to cause any additional suspicion.

"No more kissing, I take it?" Donna rolled her eyes at the immortal human.

"You only need to ask," Jack grinned, his unexpected kiss nearly sweeping Donna off her feet. She smirked at him, pleased.

"Let's just go," the ginger encouraged. "Getting imprisoned is not what I have hoped for," she shrugged. "See, our favourite couple have already gone to the TARDIS. We wouldn't want to be left out, yeah?"

"Or left on this bloody planet for good," Jack agreed. "Knowing the Doctor, we should hurry."

* * *

The moment Rose and the Doctor were on board, the companion stepped away from the alien at once, but addressed him anyway. "You are visibly bubbling with excitement to run some tests on me," she rolled her eyes at him. The need for discoveries burning within him was blindingly obvious to her. It was disturbing how well she knew the man… And how little of that information was what she would have loved to know. "While I still feel like it, we should just-"

"Or is it the other way around, Rose?" The Doctor was growing more and more suspicious by the second. The way Rose's mood kept changing every two minutes felt unnatural.

The Londoner grimaced. "Do _I_ want to be tested? Truly? No, don't be silly, Doctor. Even if you or the TARDIS happen to be extremely careful, even if I would feel no bigger pain than my bleeding lip in the process. 'm going to hate it either way."

"Why suggest it at all, then?" The Time Lord was puzzled. He could have agreed dreams were hardly ever logical, yes. But this was either getting out of control way too soon or he has spent too much time away from Rose and simply could no longer recall her being so moody. As his ever so helpful ship gave away no emotion and the two of his other companions were still not present on the TARDIS, the Doctor was left to deal with the unusual situation on his own.

"Because you want it?"

The Doctor peered at her worriedly. Her words did not make any sense. The Gallifreyan could have sworn he has _not_ allowed his wishes show in any way… But he had not objected to her words uttered previously. It has been his own mistake.

The following sentence that has escaped her lips was a lot lighter. Rose has even allowed herself a smile. She could allow herself this. They were still alone, after all…"Because I could ask for a compensation after you're finished with analyising me?"

Having entered the TARDIS soundlessly, still unnoticed by the two lovebirds, Jack and Donna were following the strange conversation wordlessly. Even they could see Rose's expected eventual return to reality was not going so smoothly. One thing was clear – Rose did not, possibly could not or did not bother to try masking her feelings, no matter how complicated and self-contradictory they might have been. But one feeling outshone them all.

The alien stared at Rose, now even more convinced the girl's emotions were an effect of something deeper than an ordinary dream. He noticed Donna and Jack at last, but paid them no mind. "I think you need some rest, Rose," the Doctor managed at last. "Maybe the trip has been too sudden for you? Maybe we should have waited for you to have adjusted to travelling with me?"

She averted her eyes. "Travelling with you is not an issue, Doctor. Has never been. Don't you dare think so."

He smiled at her softly.

"I'm off to bed," she sighed. "See you in the morning?"

The Doctor could not bear a thought of leaving Rose on her own. "My room is just around the corner, Rose."

The implication was clear, but all of a sudden, her room a few more doors away seemed as if it were somewhere in another universe and she knew there was no way her feet would carry her any further than the Doctor's chamber.

"One more thing, Doctor," Rose seemed to have remembered something crucially important. "Can you _prove_ to me that I am not dreaming?"

Her unexpected question startled him. "My Rose-"

"Exactly, Doctor," her words echoed with bitter sadness. The only instances where he called her his were those when they have had to pretend they were a couple. Every time, nothing but pretending. Although Rose knew she would take another two years of pretending from his side without a blink of an eye.

"I'm using your room just this once," Rose assured him and was gone inside his chamber in several moments.

* * *

The Doctor was left staring after her, stunned. "What's up with her? Really?"

"You should know," Jack shrugged.

"Bloody Spaceman!" Donna hissed. "How dare you…"

"What? What is it?" The Doctor was confused.

"I'll tell you what it is!"

The Time Lord looked at the Captain for assistance, but he was obviously taking Donna's side this time. "Rose might have gone through some pain of sorts. One that must have lasted for… two years? Or how long it was you have been travelling with her?" Jack wondered, his words not without a drop of wickedness.

These two must have formed an alliance against him. But they were not done yet… At least Donna wasn't.

"Tell me, Doctor. How many times have you kissed her before yesterday?" The look in her eyes left the Doctor no choice but to answer.

"Er. Several times."

" _How many_ times?"

She was not letting go. "Four times, more or less..."

Donna pitied the girl already. "Hm. How many times did you tell Rose you loved her?"

The Doctor could not lie. Not about this.

The ginger understood his silence correctly. "You haven't. Of course. Do you know how much it might hurt a woman?" A young woman so desperately in love it hurt? "Never hearing the words?" And she thought the Doctor was the one hurting.

"She knows," he muttered meekly.

"Without your saying? How do you think, Jack?"

The immortal human shook his head. "If you love her… You will be ready for what is to come."


	8. Army of One

**Previously…**

_The immortal human shook his head. "If you love her… You will be ready for what is to come."_

* * *

**Breaking Through**

**Army of One  
**

The Doctor stared at him. "Excuse me?"

Donna's look was identical to his. "Hm?"

"He knows what I'm talking about. Don't you, Doctor?"

"I'm afraid I do. But this is insane!"

"Weren't the Time Lords all out of their heads a bit, anyway? _Time Lord_?

"Are _both of you_ insane, or what?" The ginger was both angry and frustrated now. The girl, Rose, was greatly perplexed. Confused. Puzzled. Whichever was the correct word to describe Rose's… _perturbation_ about her surroundings. "She looks sensible enough to me. Recognises danger and identifies your foolish ideas just fine. Do you know what would happen if you showed her to doctors? Being forced to take all sorts of Earth medicine – antidepressants being their first choice - could be one of the smallest dangers-"

"Have you turned into Martha Jones all of a sudden, Donna?"

She rolled her eyes at them. "Swear to me you won't show her to human doctors."

The Doctor eyed her incredulously. He has never intended to do _anything_ of that sort. "I swear. But since when does this worry you so much?"

"Judging from the constant fearful disbelief in your eyes, Doctor…"

He sighed. "Rose looks human to me. Feels human." _Her kisses feel so… human._ The Doctor inhaled deeply. Some pieces of this puzzle were still missing.

"So what exactly _is_ your problem? Find Rose, admit your feelings-"

The Doctor was suddenly feeling worse than ever about having abandoned Rose. No matter there had been no other choice back then. All the things he should have done… They were always there to haunt him, even without Donna's nagging which seemed to have only been increasing his ever-present guilt further. "She- I-"

Donna shared a pitying look with Jack. "Let's just leave him," she suggested.

The Doctor's reaction to Donna's words was not the one they expected. If anything, he seemed _hopeful_. As if he were wishing to be left alone.

"We're heading for the media room," Donna said. The Doctor only nodded.

Jack shrugged. "Come, let's leave him alone," he encouraged, closing the door after them soundlessly.

* * *

The Gallifreyan sighed in relief. He knew the TARDIS could, if she so pleased, help him in identifying Rose's _problem_ without forcing her to go through countless tests. Sure, the girl believed that was the only credible, the only _decent_ way.

Actually, this was not true. There were always ways in which the bothersome procedures could easily be avoided.

One of these being-

He backed away, suddenly, startled. A screen has materialised on the wall in front of him. Rose was lying on his bed, sleeping. It seemed she was having a nightmare, whimpering silently in her sleep. But before he could run to her, the whimpering got louder – the sound possibly intensified by his clever, knowing vessel.

 _It's unacceptable. Violation of privacy!_ The Doctor chastised the old girl. Then again, Rose was only dreaming. He could not force himself out of the room, though. The conversation with whoever Rose was talking to could be heard quite clearly. The fact of it being mostly – more or less – telepathic was both terrifying and- yes. Terrifying was the word.

" _Why can't I live… love… be an ordinary person, one Rose Tyler, with my nightmares being nothing but that? Scary dreams that are to be forgotten the minute I wake up?!_

She was talking to someone in her dream. A dream about a dream…

Then, that someone did _something_.

" _There's no need to be rude, girl," Rose sighed, her face now covered in real – not imagined – tears. "I wish I knew how to undo whatever this universe did to me, I- I wish- Wish I could remember, wish-"_

The Doctor could only watch, his mouth agape. _What?_ What _does she want to remember?_

The TARDIS silenced him.

" _But no, the moment I wake up, the moment I am brought back to my incomplete existence, where even- she muttered a word, a beautiful, melodic, familiar word-_

The Doctor gasped, a feeling of having just been told a secret which changed lives – his life, Rose's life – overtaking him like a surge.

She knew his name. His real, never-uttered-

If it were not for the insistent ship, he would be waking his Rose up, right now. Shaking her, finding a way to-

_-where even he, my lover, my promised for all eternity, is forced to see me like this. Puzzled, confused, unaware- What do you mean, it would kill me? Right? What do you know, being but the other side of me? Why? Bad Wolf, they call you. Bad Wolf, they call me, but this isn't-"_

He could not take it any more.

* * *

Rose was barely aware of what was happening the moment the Doctor carried her body, still heavy with sleep, into the TARDIS infirmary. He needed answers, and he needed them now.

When a sole brownish pill has materialised onto the infirmary table, together with a glass filled with water, he did not question the ship's decisions further, forcing the pill down the human's throat with barely any intervention. It was as if the barely-awake girl knew what she _truly_ needed to do.

All the pill did was soothe the girl up to the point where she was sleeping peacefully. But that was its sole purpose.

After some nagging and begging, the ship promised he would get all the answers… When the time was right.

This was the thing which was frightening him greatly. The Gallifreyan still knew _nothing_.

And although the practice would have been frowned upon by those that were no longer, he did it anyway. Altered Rose's sleep-cycle up to the point where she would feel properly rested.

* * *

"Good morning, Rose," the Doctor addressed her softly, having waited for her sleepiness to go away at least enough for her to be willing to talk to him.

The first reaction the Time Lord was expecting from her finding herself in the infirmary rather than his bed was for her to be shocked, or at least surprised. However, she only got up enough to reach for him. Without him even beginning to formulate the question, the girl answered it, her eyes glassy. "I dreamt- I dreamt I had a twin sister," Rose spoke quietly. "Silly, I know."

"Not silly at all, Rose," he smiled at her encouragingly. "How did she look like, your sister?"

She rolled her eyes at him. " _Twin_ sister."

The Doctor was determined to get to know as much about this dream-sister of hers as Rose was willing to tell. He knew the clever TARDIS could help him with deciphering its meaning somehow.

"Was there anything exceptional, unusual about her?"

"Why are you so interested in this silly dream of mine?" Rose asked him innocently.

"It's just- curiosity, I suppose," he said simply. "Nobody ever talks about these things to me. It's just about time for this to change, eh?" She had cried. Had wept, because of- The Doctor shook these thoughts away.

"So, what about this dream sister of yours?" The Time Lord hoped his insistence did not feel out of place, especially since this seemingly irrelevant information was actually helping the Doctor understand some of the things that were both exciting and startling him to no end.

She giggled. "Her name was Rose. Like mine. See where this human lack of creativity leads us, Doctor?"

He nodded, a small thoughtful almost-smile on his lips. Even though he did not feel like smiling, not in the slightest.

His Rose was not weak. Not easily-frightened. In fact, she was all he could ever wish for…

But she was too fragile. Too fragile to cope with this on her own.


	9. Clean Up, Fix Up

**Previously...**

_He nodded, a small thoughtful almost-smile on his lips. Even though he did not feel like smiling, not in the slightest._

_His Rose was not weak. Not easily-frightened. In fact, she was all he could ever wish for…_

_But she was too fragile. Too fragile to cope with this on her own._

* * *

**Breaking Through**

**Chapter Nine**

**Clean Up, Fix Up**

The Doctor did not know how to address the complicated subject without accidentally giving away too much.

He took a deep breath. "You, Rose Tyler, are a walking miracle."

She giggled. "Yeah? What makes you say so?"

The Time Lord sighed in relief, believing to have successfully avoided the slippery barrier between the truth and the reality which has often felt more like a wicked fantasy.

"Your kisses are to die for," he thought it best to avoid the risky topic.

"If you say so," Rose smiled at him almost shyly. "But you are not telling me _everything_ , and-"

He averted his eyes. "You- you must be mistaken, love! Why wouldn't I tell you-"

"I am not a fool, Doctor. All I need is to be told the truth, however gruesome it might be!"

"Do you think many things can be done with the sole reliable information about the processes inside your mind being your dreams and the things you might have muttered while asleep? It's nowhere as simple as you think, love!"

She glared at him. "Then _do_ something!"

 _Rassilon._ "Not until I am allowed to enter your mind, which I won't be, because-"

 _For God's sake!_ Rose was getting agitated. "First, you convince me we must get married. Even if it's all fake, it's-"  She sighed. "Then, all we do is make out for hours! Now, you are suggesting-"

"Forget it," the Doctor muttered. "I'm sure we can live just as we used to!"

Rose's lips quivered. "No. You are going to do whatever it takes to be allowed to enter my mind. You are going to make my mind work properly again, without all these memory leaps and dream-induced anxieties-"

The Time Lord gaped at her. It seemed Rose was getting to the point without his help.

" _Could_ you?" Her voice was suddenly barely above a whisper.

He exhaled. "I don't know how to say this. It seems some part of your mind has locked up some secrets, currently unknown even to you, but-"

The girl began blinking at him furiously, as if trying to make something unclear out in the distance. "Such as?"

"My name, for a start. You know my real name, love," the Doctor considered it the least harmful piece of truth to be shared.

"I figure it's not 'The Doctor,' then?" Rose could not even allow herself to be shocked or at least greatly surprised about it. After all, hasn't that much always been obvious?

"Nope."

"And you're saying..."

"Look, Rose. Only my mother and father knew-"

She eyed him curiously. "How about your siblings?"

"Oh, you mean Irv-" He froze, remembering. "Braxiatel. I think he knew, as well. I've never paid much attention to who was supposed to know what... Then, there was my wife. That makes it four people. _Four_ people!"

She exhaled, frustrated. Had _she_ had siblings, she would never- No, this was not about _her_ life.

"Any theories, Doctor?"

"I am afraid this is much more than a theory, Rose."

"What do you mean?" This was worrying her more than she thought possible.

"Since you know my name, Rose Tyler... I would need to perform some tests on you."

"Since I know your real name, Doctor, and am neither your mother nor any other blood-relation of yours, and since-"

The girl shook her head at the silly concept. "I assume the TARDIS must have told me somehow, or I might have overheard it once she was furious at you enough to use your real name when shaming you for whatever you might have done?" She reasoned, secretly hoping her deduction was correct, or else-

The Time Lord looked at her, chalk-pale. "The old girl does _not_ know my birth-name. Even if she wanted to chastise me for whatever reason, calling me by that name would be impossible for her-"

"Which means-"

"Get up, we are going to the infirmary this instant, Rose!"

She exhaled slowly, neither willing nor wishing to object, her mind feeling almost overloaded with all this information. At least the Doctor seemed to be just as stricken by the still-uncertain news as she was.

* * *

Rose did not let out a sound once an example of her blood was being taken.

"For a moment, I thought you were going to faint here and now," he smiled at her softly. "You surely do look pale," he clarified.

"As do you," she countered, a small uncertain smile on her lips.

"Yeah," he agreed, braving himself to finally get his insane theory confirmed, the one accidentally implied by his Rose just hours before...

* * *

 

The Doctor's eyes grew wide once the analysis was fully complete. "I- I-"

"What is it?"

It seemed the sudden fury on the Time Lord's face was only directed at his ship.

 _How_ could _you?! Was this some kind of experiment? I know you thought you had the right, but-_

The Doctor was trying to breathe out his frustration. "Come, Rose. We have some vows to renew."

"You don't mean _the_ vows? Doctor?"

The Time Lord looked as if he were under the effect of some shock. All the girl could think of at that moment was following his lead.

"Shouldn't we call Donna? Jack?"

He exhaled. "Absolutely, _absolutely_ not!"

"O- Okay?"

His determination was impossible to miss.

"I am not invading your mind without your full consent, could never even think about doing that, Rose! You must know that whatever happens, you are always the only one for me!"

She grinned at him. "Are you implying you _must_ enter my mind? Whatever reason might _that_ be?"

"Oh. Yes, sorry. If you want to wait, we could-"

"No! But what does allowing you inside my mind and renewing our marriage vows have in common?"

"You know how Time Lords used to have this ceremony called-"

Rose bit her lip. "Will it make you happier? Help you feel more at ease? Make you feel nowhere as lonely?"

He nodded. It seemed she knew him better than her - no, than any _human_ mind could ever imagine.

"The TARDIS might have thought she was helping you. She might have thought it was going to be better for you to only have these unlikely implications enter your mind in dreams! But a Time Lord mind cannot remain locked up forever!"

The ship objected, whining loudly at him.

 _Yes, it might have been safer for her not knowing. Not remembering. But Rose did! She has remembered me, always! Your plan has_ failed _. Bring her back to me! This instant!_

Rose inhaled deeply, the amount of her withheld Time Lady memories finding their place in her mind at once, the only visible side effect being her fists clenching in concentration. _It's okay. I am not mad at you._ She sighed heavily nevertheless. A human, a Time Lord or even a sensible time ship - making mistakes was just the way of life. Surely, so was making up for them. Even if this meant the TARDIS was not necessarily going to _like_ that part. _  
_

The Doctor nodded at Rose encouragingly.

"Do you really think we should renew the vows? Right now? Maybe wait for at least another hundred years?" The girl, or, yes, the Time Lady could not stop grinning at him, knowing they could barely wait for a week to refresh the bond.

 _Your wish is my command, Rose Tyler!_ He smirked at her, gleeful. A hundred years sounded silly, but they could surely wait for a couple of days... 

Rose knew exactly what they were going to do next and for that, audience was very much _not_ required.


	10. Remember Forever, Forget Never

_ **Previously...** _

  
_ Your wish is my command, Rose Tyler!  _ _He smirked at her, gleeful. A hundred years sounded silly, but they could surely wait for a couple of days..._

_Rose knew exactly what they were going to do next and for that, audience was very much_ _ not _ _required._

* * *

 

**Breaking Through**

**Chapter Ten**

**Remember Forever, Forget Never**

 

“What are we going to do about the old girl?” The Doctor could not avoid the topic so close to his hearts when it was likely going to, even if untentionally, cause some trouble in the long run.

“Nothing,” Rose sighed at him. “Had I known it was her doing all along, I might have. It's of no importance right now, yes? She has learnt her lesson, am I right?”

“I can't understand you,” the Doctor said. “We, _you_ have suffered so many undesired emotions because of her!”

“We. Exactly. Has she unlocked _your_ hidden memories already?” The fair girl changed the subject.

“Not that I know of,” he shrugged. “But I wouldn't be surprised if-”

The Doctor backed away, hit by a current of memories the next second.

_Are you trying to hurt me?_

His first thought after getting the once suppressed memories back was directed at the TARDIS.

“I think she's trying to apologise?” Rose guessed. “Has the TARDIS been doing this before?”

The Doctor grimaced. “I am the one apologising, usually. She likes making me feel guilty.”

“No, I mean removing your memories?”

“It's a very devastating thing to even try doing. I doubt she has ever done that before,” he admitted.

“Which is why the old girl has avoided giving me my memories back sooner,” Rose felt better knowing there was a reason for keeping her in the dark for so long.

“But why?” The Doctor could not understand. “She could have-”

The TARDIS could have remained a silent observer, as usual. But her implication was very clear, the lights dimming everywhere aboard the ship.

The Doctor has sent the vessel a colourful Gallifreyan epithet in return.

Chastised, the ship has resumed the ordinary state of light inside the vessel immediately.

 _Do you honestly think we want for our activities to be known for the two travelling with us?_ He grumbled.

“It's already too late for them to miss it, I'm afraid,” Rose whispered.

* * *

 

It was Donna that has come to them first. “Don't get overexcited, you two,” she warned the couple jokingly. “I am taking him for some adventure, heaven knows, what's going to happen to us there!”

Jack followed right in tow. “I'll bring her back to you safe and sound. Maybe a little drunk. Maybe even sated, if you know what I mean.”

Rose did not dare to face him until they were both off the ship.

“Are you sure you still want this?” She managed, deeply uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“This ship is ours. The universe is at your feet, Rose! If you want, we could go to Paris. Everyone loves Paris. We could do whatever! Go wherever!”

“How about you kiss me first? Kiss me like you've never done before?” Rose breathed at him.

The Doctor was surprised. “Kiss you?” He could not help but be incredulous.

She shook her head at him playfully. “I hope you don't expect of me to list all of the things the request entails, let alone out loud?” Rose eyed him mischievously.

 _Ah_ , he grinned at her. “Do you want to go anywhere, at all?”

“Paris would do nicely,” the Time Lady teased him. “Afterwards,” she clarified. “I bave had enough weird planets for the last couple of days, thank you!”

“Nineteenth century Paris is what you're craving for?” He guessed.

“ _You_ are who I want. I want, want-”

“Paris,” he finished. “But first, let me fulfil your request.”

This time, the dimmed down lights did not cause them any trouble. It was only a matter of minutes until the intense making out was no longer enough.

“I would like to tell you how long I have been waiting for this moment,” the Doctor breathed. “But my actual memories, my time senses, it's all a little-”

Rose stared at him with sincere admiration. She knew it meant a lot to him to ever word something so personal as having trouble with the feelings imprinted so deep within him ever since the early adolescence.

She nodded. “Having memories suppressed or, or deleted, that's...”

“You _are_ a bit angry at her, I can tell,” the Time Lord teased, his clever fingers undressing her ever so slowly and cherishing each time her body has reacted to his touch.

_Would you have taken me to that planet, were it not for her?_

You _have asked for it, remember?_ The Doctor allowed her to remove some of his upper pieces of clothing.

Everything was happening incredibly slowly. Every kiss, every peck, every touch. However, it seemed they were aiming for such an effect.

After what felt like hours, their pace has finally increased. The clothes still covering their bodies were already wet. But it was their first time after a long abstinence. Things were slightly different from what they both might have expected, but that seemed to be the untold rule for the Time Lords.

“We haven't even renewed our bond properly yet,” Rose breathed into him.

“Is it wrong if I want this to last?” He countered equally softly.

_Not at all._ She appreciated this long overture immensely. It was obvious that once they could no longer contain the desire within, it was likely going to last for no more than several minutes for both of them. Even the renewal of their  _real_ marriage bond might not last half as long as it was originally supposed to.

Eventually, the  _need_ has taken over. Every last garment was discarded somewhere on the floor. Every drop of decency was pushed away. The only reasonable thing some part of their shared minds could still register was the connection and how the TARDIS has always remained a crucial part in reviving it.

Always just at the border of returning to their Time Lord minds, every touch and caress they shared, both conscious and not entirely teasing to become alive there and then, the bond has sparked back to life fully the moment their bodies could no longer fight the desire.

* * *

 

“We should definitely do it again sometime,” the Doctor eyed Rose knowingly after.

She shook her head at him, laughing lightly. “Someone was saying something about Paris?”

“Afterwards,” he smirked at her. “There can be many variations of _afterwards_. Many variations of Paris. Many things one can do in all these versions of Paris!” The Doctor looked at her meaningfully.

“You _pervert_!” Rose grinned at him, catching his vivid thoughts. “Although... There are a lot of _ways_ in which we can do all these things in Paris...”

It has taken the Doctor and Rose several weeks until they have finally managed to travel to France. It might be it hasn't even been Paris on the first go... But that much was only to be expected.

* * *

 

** The End **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you have enjoyed! :) 
> 
> I feel the story might work well with the Teen rating, but mind control... Nope. Better not.


End file.
